So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
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I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
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passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just want to make out with him forever
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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