let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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