my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
