That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
