The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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