Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
