I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
