I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize