one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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