apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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