she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
And then he peed in my hair
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