areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
