he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
