Sry I called you an 8
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
MIDGETS
????
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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