Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
