I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Randomize
