I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
