What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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