I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
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She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
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Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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