before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
wow bdsm is so cute
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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