Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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