I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize