Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
