He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You brought string cheese to the strip club
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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