I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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