anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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