Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Randomize
