Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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