I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
