I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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