You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
