So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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