Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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