i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
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I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My vagina just clenched in fear
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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