i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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