Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I didn't notice because vodka
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
