I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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