I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize