You can't motorboat a personality
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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