apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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