Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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