We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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