So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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