You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
