Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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