her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I love you. Go after that dick
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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