I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
