So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize