btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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