I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
