would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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