I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
