that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
