office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
