So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
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i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
did i walk over a car last night?
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Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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