The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
