i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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