Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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