he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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