she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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