His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
